How to sing when you are shy
Are you really shy but also really want to sing? you can do both! Today’s article is dedicated to tell you about how to sing when you are shy.
I used to have a singing teacher that once told me “anyone that chooses singing as an instrument, loves to be the focus of attention”. The reason why I keep on remembering that after 11 years of finishing my lessons with that teacher, is because I did not agree then and I do not agree now.
An extroverted personality certainly helps with some aspects of singing, but it is definitely not a requirement for singing.
I used to be extremely shy to a point in which many of my school teachers would bring the issue up with my parents repeatedly. So for me, that teacher’s statement could not have been further from the truth.
If you are shy or introverted, you know how it is for you. You don’t want to stand out, you don’t want to be the focus of attention.
What I would say instead of that is: anyone who chooses singing as an instrument, has a strong desire to express and communicate. Maybe also to be heard.
That is very different from standing out for the sake of it.
When you are a singer, you are telling a story with your voice. You are expressing emotions and anyone has the right to do that.
You don’t need to be the greatest showman to do that, and you don’t need to copy anyone.
So you should not let your shyness stop your singing. There are things you can do about it.
Benefits of being shy and/or introverted for singing
Yes, there are some benefits to it!
Introverts are good at observing. They are usually very good at listening and very thoughtful. For this reason, for introverts, it is usually not so hard to empathize.
These traits are great when you are singing because it gives you the chance to connect more fully with a song and to really singing from your heart.
Singing songs is not about just hitting high notes mindlessly without knowing the meaning behind it and with no clear message.
I personally don’t get impressed at all with awesome beltings and high notes, if there is nothing more than that. I get impressed and moved by singers that have the ability to express a message deeply. Singers that feel and mean what they are saying.
So if you are an introvert, look at the bright side of it because embracing it can really make a difference in your voice.
Don’t try to be like Madonna or Freddie Mercury if it doesn’t come naturally to you. When you are a performer, you don’t have to be anybody else but yourself, and that is really all you need.
Tips on how to sing when you are shy and/or introverted
Managing your mind
- Accept who you are and embrace it. There is nothing wrong with you.
- Understand that other people’s opinions really do not matter. Opinions are not the truth, they are just opinions. You can choose to listen to the opinions or not to, but if you do remember that they are just that, opinions. They do not define who you are.
- Understand that you are never going to be liked as a singer by everyone. Just like you don’t like every single singer on the planet. And that is OK!
- Understand that you are in control of your own thoughts. Whenever you stop yourself from singing because of your shyness, take a moment and observe what thoughts you are having at that moment. Are they serving you? If not, can you flip them around?
- Understand that the uncomfortable feelings that come up when you are singing in front of people are not a big deal in reality. You are not at real risk of being rejected by society and your survival is not threatened. Feelings start on your mind. They are uncomfortable, but would you be willing to deal with them anyway? Are you willing to go feel those uncomfortable sensations and sing? It gets easier the more you do it, and more enjoyable too.
- Decide what is your comfort zone and what could you do to try to stretch it a bit. If your comfort zone is singing entirely by yourself with no one else watching, maybe you can start singing in front of one person. Or start taking private lessons. There is no need to go and sing in front of 10.000 people to stretch your comfort zone! Start where you are and take baby steps to where you want to be, instead of completely disregarding the idea of singing in public.
- BE PRESENT. Be in the present moment. When you are singing a song, are you thinking about what you are saying, or are you thinking about how scared you are? focus on your message, bring attention to what you want to express instead of your feelings of nervousness.
Managing your body
Sometimes when we are shy or introverted, or both, we can have a hard time managing our anxiety when it comes to singing live. Even if it is for one person! If that is the case, you might observe that your breath becomes shallow and it is harder to produce a vocal sound that you feel like you are in control of. To resolve that, know that you are in control of your posture, which in turn modifies your breathing and your perspective as well.
Defining your goals
One common misconception around singers is that if you want to be a singer, the goal is to sing live and by yourself in front of as many people as you can. I think that is a very limiting belief.
When you decide that you want to become a singer, stop asking people on what your end goals should be. What do YOU want?
The possibilities are many. Some examples of end goals for people that want to train their voices:
- Singing in a choir
- Singing in a band
- Be able to sing their own songs more easily and with no strain
- Be a solo singer
- Be a TV start
- Sing backing vocals in musicals
- Be a musical theater singer
- Sing in the community musicals
- Be the singer on a cruise
- Singing in restaurants
- Be a famous singer
- SInging for family and friends
- Enjoy Karaoke nights more
- Being better at speaking
- Feeling more comfortable with your voice
- Learning about the role of the voice in our expression
- Being more expressive in their daily life
- And many more!
You should choose based on what makes you feel good and not based on what people say you should do. If your goal is to just be able to sing more easily in your community choir, then that is great. If your goal is to be a professional singer and travel the world, that is great too. Whatever your goal is, there are different pathways to do it. There is always a way.
However, if you are an introvert, don’t cheat yourself when you are making this decision. Whenever you think about your goals for singing (which can change along the way too), don’t choose from a place of fear. In other words, if you would like to become a solo singer but you are scared of the idea, don’t change your goal just for that. Stick to what you want, and you can work with the emotions that that causes. You are in control of it if that is your choice. There is always a way.
In the same way, if your wish is to become part of your local choir, don’t work towards being a solo singer just because it seems more challenging. Choose what you really want. Other people’s opinions on what you should or should not do, don’t matter at all.
Developing your style
The most important thing to have success as a singer when you are shy or introverted is to just get started. Find a teacher you connect with, someone that empathizes with you instead of someone that forces you to perform and smile when you don’t want to.
Once you get past the fear and the uncomfortable sensations of being heard, the work is much easier.
Being an introvert does not take away any ability to sing. We all have different bodies, different posture habits, and breathing patterns that we will have to work on to build our instrument. That is OK.
If you can manage your mind and bring the focus to the message that you want to express instead of how uncomfortable it is to be heard, you will absolutely change your perspective, and singing will be much more enjoyable.
Your style will develop naturally if you remember to be yourself instead of someone else. Being you is enough. There are plenty of people that will resonate with your way of saying things, and there are plenty of people that won’t. That is OK, it happens with 100% of singers.
Don’t let your feelings of shyness prevent you from enjoying your voice!
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